Unofficialbmw.com

[tncean]

Since last August, I've put 20k on my 90 i, and I'm not a traveling salesman. My parents have been in and out of hospital several times, and my dad died end of Sept. They were in a nursing home about a 51/2 hour drive from Chattanooga, in Dothan, Al.
Mom got moved to sw Georgia in Nov., to a nursing home where her niece is the administrator. (it's good to have connections). Mom has recently been diagnosed with end stage liver failure, and it is untreatable. She's had mental clarity, thank goodness, and seems to fully understand.
I've taken family medical leave from work, and hope to spend a lot of time with my mom. The drive is about 5 hours, one way, and that's through Atlanta.
I often am impressed with the performance and reliability of this 17 year old car. Have spent some $, scraped the knuckles a few times, but putting it through the paces as I have, it's been worth it
Good little cars, I think.

Peace. May comfort and good guidance be provided to us all.


tncean

[LarrygP]

Sorry for your loss T.
_________________

Larry
'89 325i Cabrio (Sabrina)
176K

[Henry]

Many of us understand what you and your family are going through. We've experienced the same and realize how difficult each day is. I did the same for almost 3 years and couldn't have done anything else and wouldn't have done anything else. Am sure she appreciates each and every minute.

[scrat]

Understand completly. most important thing is to have somewhere you can go and let it out and relax. If this board and the people helps then write as much as you can. somtimes its easier to talk to people you dont know than to the ones you love. if this is the case we will always lend an ear to you. I have lost 3 people from my family within the last year. i know what your going through we all do. Stay strong keep an open mind. Spend as much time you can with your mother. We will always be here for you. My condonlences are to you and your family.
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[panzerkeil302]

hey tn,

If you're traveling thru Atlanta and need a place to rest before your last leg home to Tenn, drop me a pm. My wife and I are always honored to have guests, we have plenty of room, and dinner is on me.

Very sorry to hear about your parents.

[tncean]

Thanks to each and every one of you for your kind words, support.

There are times I feel so utterly alone, and I wonder if I'll be able to handle the things to come in a dignified and honorable manner.

Your notes, kindness, and absolute humanity have given me solace. And faith.

For now, Mom is stable. We've held hands, kissed, cried, and laughed. Talked about life being a journey, about how it's what you make of it.
Soon, I think, the Boatman beckons. She'll be in good hands.

She's a flower from the fields of Alabama. Wonder if they like flowers, in heaven?

Peace......tncean

[tncean]

Feb. 4, an update, of sorts.

Decided to take some advice, write it out, a bit. I like to write, which is why I'm working on a book. The book is on the "back burner" for a while. But, I still keep notes, jot down ideas, etc.
Mom is stable, for now. Or, she was yesterday. She's 85. Had some strokes, but is still mentally lucid, for the most part. Has underlying congestive heart failure, which has recently had a topping of bowel impaction, urinary tract infection, and now, liver infection. I'm a career health care worker (32 yrs as a registered respiratory therapist), and my insistance that she get good care has not been without frought. Though it pisses off some the hospital workers, I've learned to wear my work ID when mom's in hospital. Cut's out a lot of bullshit. Let's them know what playing field we're on. And, this game is for keeps.
There's some fine, fine, good caring people out there in health care. And a lot of lazy-ass power-jerks, too. I like the good ones.
As we all know and feel, it's tough to see your momma on the sickly side.
The trips to sw Georgia have been tiring and frequent. A 5 or so hour one-way drive. I'm worried about her, taking off from work, sleep deprived. Then, I get the sinus cold/crud that's been around for the past 6 or so weeks.
Ever have those days when it seems you catch every red light, the people in front of you are driving 35 with a cell phone to their ear, the car behind you has it's hood ornament up your tail pipe? Then, you try to be polite and professional, and you find the people you must deal with comport themselves with the demeanor of a constipated rhinoceros?
Sheesh. Try it for a couple of weeks.

Just pray. Be Thankful. Breathe deep, slow down. Try to keep the "big picture" in your mind. Don't sweat the small stuff, as they say. Ask for good guidance. Then, let it happen.

Maintenance pays: The bmw has a loose rocker arm, and uses a bit of oil if pushed, (valve seals/guides). Thought I'd drive my old 91 Explorer, that I bought new, for a while.
PS pump a growling. Put it up on rack, inspect the front end, while we're at it. Left front brake line casing has a 1/2'' erosion tear/gap in it. Glad I decided to change that ps fluid. PS pump nice and quiet now. New fluid and Lucas ps juice. Brake lines to be installed today or tomorrow. Explorer has 250k. Doesn't use oil. Everything works. Doors close good and no rattles. She's a wagging her tail pipe, ready to go.

Back to see, be with Mom Monday.
Will bring fiddle, fly rod.

Peace.

Later.......tncean

[scrat]

tncean. thanks for the reading material. Its good to hear from you. I for one am glad to see your spirits up and see you writing. As long as your posting i will be reading and thinking about you and your family. So tell us more if you like. What is your mom like. What did she do, what is your favorite food she cooks. Keep it coming.
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[Henry]

She's a fortunate mom to have you around during this difficult time. When you look back years from now you'll feel good.

[tncean]

Update: Feb. 8.

Mom has stabilized, and has been taken off "death watch" for now. Appears the infection has c;eared.
Been a tough time, for her, and for her family.
Hats' off to the hard-working nurses.
I finally, finally got her MD to make some medication changes, and to use some herbs for therapy. Everybody has been surprised at how well she's done.

She has some good spirits looking over her.
She seems comfortable.

I do give thanks.

Later.....tncean

[scrat]

glad to here things are getting better.
Hang in there.
_________________

[tncean]

Finally, finally, the sinus crud is breaking up. Us healthcare workers get frequently exposed to the more evolved "superbugs", viruses, etc. I sometimes see as many as 40 patients a shift, with as many as 20 on therapies. They're not in hospital because they are healthy.
Good old water, lots of it, and guafinisen (muconyx?). Guaf. has been around a long time. LOts of vitamins, etc.
I tried some steroid nasal spray a couple of years ago, for chronic sinus problems. Since, it seems I 've gotten some bad-ass sinus infections. Beginning to think water here in Chattanooga has so much chlorine in it, having bad side effects. Never been in a town where almost everybody you know is taking something for sinuses.

Have tried talking to Mom about what well may happen with her liver going bad. As the liver function worsens, the proteins in the cell wall become effected. When the cell wall breaks down, it allows fluid to leak through it. Basically, you drown from the inside.
A lot of folks will get an infection (pneumonia, or the like), because they can't clear the fluids, even with powerful meds.
A long, slow way to go.
She's told me she "understands". For now. But, when that all-consuming, powerful urge just to breathe kicks in, it won't be an "I understand", it'll be an "I can't breathe. You've got to help me."

Have recentlly had to start Mom on sedatives. And Morphine. Trust me, it's tough to be involved with any patient that is having breathing problems. But, when it's your mother....

All kinds of thoughts go through the head. You know it's coming, ....but, when?

I can hear my drunk brother now; "Why are pushing for her to have morphine? You're just trying to push her into her grave!!"
"Damnit, brother, what do you want to do? Put her on a ventilator so she can rot to death in some intensive care unit?"

For now, I pray and ask for good guidance. And, try to put myself in Mom's shoes.

Sometimes, you just stick the reins in your teeth, put a pistol in each hand, ride and shoot straight, and give the horse a good spurring.

Come on, good spirits, lead me well, that I will do those things that are needed of me.

Peace......tncean

[Henry]

Your mother is fortunate you are there to provide her with love and peace.
Those of us who've walked this path and read your posts understand and know how blessed your mother is to have you at her side. Keep the faith.

[tncean]

An update, of sorts. feb 26.

Incredibly, my mom is still with us. Even though her BP has dropped very low, and gone in and out of a coma a couple of times. Bless her heart, she's as ready to go as anyone I've ever worked with before, and I do mean psychologically and spritually. Can't talk sis into Hospice.

I've often wondered how many times I can say good-bye to that earthly body. As many times as it takes, is the answer. We're going to keep her love with us.

tncean

[tncean]

Callie Ruth Williamson Sudge passed on March 5, 2006.

Her love is still here with us, and will grow on.

Services are this Wed, the 8th, in Dothan, Alabama.

Thanks for your prayers, thoughts, and kind words.

Best Regards....

Michael Sudge