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jamminjames · Joined: 18 Jul 2003 Posts: 860 Location: Wilson, NC

I know this is way off topic but I need some advice on how to handle a situation – maybe some of you brethren E30 owners has had to deal with:

Bratty Neighborhood Kids!

I live in an neighborhood that are mostly rent houses – and somewhat lower rent at that (It’ll be a year or two before I can afford to buy my own house and move). It’s not a terrible neighborhood, but not the best either – at least everybody keeps to themselves.

Over the last few months a few families have moved in with before-school-aged kids that run up and down the block all evening. I have a single lane driveway and am also unable to park a car in the garage for the time being. There are 6-7 little kids that apparently have no respect for privacy or property. They walk across my yard, play on my front porch, cut across the driveway either between the two cars parked there (the BMW and Benz) or between the car and the garage. Two days ago I had the garage door open while I was working on the Benz at the end of the driveway and one of the kids just walked across the yard, and then between my E30 and garage – looking into my garage the whole time! Granted, I don’t have much of value in my garage, but the nerve! I was so flabbergasted I didn’t think to say anything to the kid.

And now this morning when I went out to go to work in the Cougar parked in the street, I found chalk marks all over the driver’s side (the side in the street). One of the chalk marks was done heavy enough it cracked the paint a little.

I haven’t been able to pinpoint anything on any one kid, but I'm afraid of something worse happening. Hey, I like kids and am all for them having fun, but when parents allow their children to run wild like that without teaching them anything about respect… I raised four kids and always taught them to respect other people and property – and if I found out about them doing something like this…

So, in my opinion the children’s behavior shows what the parents are like, which makes me very hesitant about talking to the parents – fear of reprisal. What should I do? Private property signs in the yard? String cord on posts down the driveway? Post generic flyers on all the neighborhood doors asking parents to curtail the kids?

I thought that maybe tonight when I get home I should call the police out and have them see what’s been done to the Cougar – this way the neighborhood would see that someone is not happy about the kid’s actions and the parents would talk to the kids. But that brings me back to the fear of reprisal. I'm at a loss – I would have never even thought that children could be so irresponsible.

Like I said, maybe someone on this board had had similar circumstances and has found a good way to deal with it…

Again, apologies for being way off-topic – I just want to keep Tasha looking good!

Thanx, James

bbbidit · Joined: 30 Dec 2003 Posts: 163 Location: TEXAS

James,
I feel for you ..

some parents just do not care what their kids are doing .. as long as they arent bugging them.. so if you approach the parents then you are liable to get little results... calling the police could be your best option though. If they are destroying your property that needs to stop immediately.
Hopefully , you wont be there long ... as it gets worse as they get older... I would try talking to them as well... explain to them that they need to stay off your property but be very nice to them with your approach. What concerns me is that they wrote on your car without provocation. Kids do not fear adults like they used to.. its the other way around ...

Best of luck to you

SaturdayNightBimmer · Joined: 15 Feb 2004 Posts: 443

James, call the cops out. Your car was vandalized and sustained damage. If the bad parents see a cop car at your house, they'll tell their kids to stay away.

Also, start yelling at the kids like a madman. "Get outta here now!" is a good one. "Hey kids, move along, don't play here!" Once they know you're a mean junkyard dog, they'll stay away.

MattB · Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1633 Location: Lakeland, FL

pellet guns work. or a paintball gun with frozen paintballs??? (shotgun packed with rocksalt and bacon fat?) hmmmm.....

nah... seriously, Brians 88325e's got it right. kids are just arrogant these days.
and i thought my generation was bad.
What tony said might work in Little Italy, but anywhere else, kids are gonna sneak in while "the mean old guy" isn't around and do stuff to get their badge of honor.

Cops are your best route... and they'll surely have some good advice if you get a good cop.

Alex Owen · Joined: 30 Mar 2004 Posts: 33 Location: Frederick, MD

I enjoy reading this board everyday. I have only posted a couple of times. I have a 92 325 cabrio that I purchased in November.

I am not an expert on car maintenance, but this is one area where I am going to put in my 2cents.
I am a fourth grade teacher. Kids today are exhibiting the behaviors that you described because they have no one setting a positive example for them. They are either from broken families or are middle class latch key kids. Either way, they are not being supervised.

I have one boy who turns 5 in July and triplet boys who turn 3 in July. I AM AROUND KID 24-7.

How should you handle your situation? Next time you see those kids outside, in a nonconfrontational way I would talk to them. You don't have to be their best friend But if they see you as the nice guy who waves and says hi to them, then eventually they will form a informal relationship with youb and then be reluctant to mess with your car. In addition, I would tell them this "hey guys I need you to do me a favor. there are some kids that are writing on my car if you see those kids doing it, let me know."
Furthermore, Let the kids know that you have notified the police of what has happened in the past so the cops are on the look out.

As a teacher, yelling at students will stop the behavior (short term), but what I want to do is CHANGE the behavior (long term).

They need to be responsible for their behavior. They will have a choice, mess with the nice guys car or get in trouble with the police.

My 2 cents.
Alex O

P.S. why did I get my car? The only time I am alone during the day is my 12 commute to and from work. Wait until Im 65 to get a car or enjoy it while Im 35. I will tell you guys the whole story how I got this car another day.

panzerkeil302 · Joined: 10 Mar 2004 Posts: 2182

Minidv cam.

Record them doing what they're doing...call the police, contact the parents, then send them a bill from the body shop for repairs...

Nothings gets a parent to stop their little terror than having to spend money. Right now, little Johnny is going to say they did not do it.

Document it on tape.

my .02, and sorry to hear it, sucks having to deal with stuff like that.

JRS · Joined: 09 Jun 2002 Posts: 2386 Location: USA

Wrong approach.. all of you. Wrong approach.

The deal with these kids is that there hasn't been enough discipline in their lives and as far as they are concerned, everything is right and nothing they do is ever wrong. You may not be able to change the entire neighborhood, but if you can pinpoint the "leader" of the group, you can start changing your side of the 'hood.

Calling the cops is fine but that marks you as an 'a-hole' in their book. Then they will continue to target you - - knowing that they are young and what can a cop do to a 8-14 year old ? Their parents may slap them around a bit but they're too old for that and the teaching of discipline becomes harder and harder to do (as they get older).

Be-friend them.

Yep, be their 'best friend'. Of course, have their parents realize that your intention is to be neighborly and not a "Michael Jackson" (get what I mean?). If they've got a broken bike or some part is loose, go fix it. Tighten the bolt here and there. Spray some oil on the gears to make the bike faster. Ice cream truck rolls along - buy 1-2 of them an ice cream cone. $2-$3 towards peace in the ‘hood.

Once they realize that you're an 'ok/cool' dude, then teach/tell them about respect and responsibility.

I have various age groups (3-18 year olds) in my 'hood and they all respect everyone. They come to me when their bikes need repairs (not their parents because they have zero clue on how to fix a bike). They need air in the tires - I have the pump. I served the teenagers hot dogs and burgers when they were young and growing up. Now they make sure that the 'hood is protected. They see me having spur-of-the-moment hot dog lunches on my driveway with the younger kids. Sometimes they join in.

One guy who called the cops (5-years back) always gets his house teepeed every year. I ask the “leader” if he knows who did the tp’ing and all he does is look at me with a small grin.

No one parks in front of my driveway. No one rides their bikes on anyone’s lawn. No one disses another person unless they deserved it. Everyone looks out for each other. I live in Texas and I make sure I know the neighbors around me. Back when I lived in Chicago, I could care less… but this is Texas and there are ways to bring the ‘hood together.

People will always be in amazement when you show that your intentions are friendly and not hostile. Anyone park in lower Wacker Drive in downtown Chi-town ? Homeless people live there. Don’t be shocked to see urine on your wheels. I started being friendly to one of the homeless guys (gave him a cup of instant noodle soup every day after work). All of the sudden, my car is never tampered with and no one bothers me for a handout while I walk to my car.

Calling Officer Friendless will not solve the problem. Being a good neighbor will.

Just my $0.02 on this subject.

JRS

panzerkeil302 · Joined: 10 Mar 2004 Posts: 2182

I like the befriend idea...in theory and in princple, it's the way to go....problem is, you're asking him to do a lot of "parenting" on his time. Doesn't seem practical.

Once they know you're recording, they might think you're a jerk, but they'll leave you alone - or wear masks when they attack...either way.

Man, JRS, I wish you lived near me - we need more neighbors buying others neighbors kids ice cream...that's pretty nice.

[ 05-21-2004: Message edited by: panzerkeil302 ]

Fred Mac · Joined: 30 Mar 2004 Posts: 29 Location: Schertz Texas

I have the exact problem. I ranted and raved, called the cops. They suggested I record everything. The kids were out front when they saw me installing my camera. It's inside the house looking through one of the windows. It worked, they aren't bothering us or our property anymore. But on the other hand tensions are high in our neighborhood now. (only with the parents of the little turds) We decided to make a move. Going to the country with some land between me and my neighbors. I've stood all I can stand and can't stands no more.

MattB · Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1633 Location: Lakeland, FL

if i told you i was a bad kid would you buy me ice cream?

I'm not knocking what you're saying... because the friendly "lead by example" approach has its merit.
But when I was a kid, the nice old man down the street didn't set me to thinking half as much as the mean old man that scared me to death.

... and let me know about that ice cream.

JRS · Joined: 09 Jun 2002 Posts: 2386 Location: USA

I just arrived home and one of the 8-year old kids asked me if I was going to serve hot dogs this weekend. I said "Sure, why not!"... So c'mon by on Saturday at 5pm.

$0.99 for an 8-pack of dogs, $0.99 for a 2-liter of Sprite, and $1.49 for a 8-pack of Albertsons-brand buns: <$3.75 and I feed my kids and at least 4 others. I already have the chips.

I know they will grow up to learn to respect the 'hood, realize that they can approach any adult in our 'hood (and ask for help), and hopefully grow up with good intentions.

"Good intentions" that are planted early in life tend to pass-on the trait.

One of the teenagers recently got a used crotch-rocket and I noticed the lights weren't bright. How ironic that the bulbs were exactly the same as my E30. I happened to have the HID bulbs and installed them on his bike.

He used to arrive home between 11pm and 12M revving up his engine (literally announcing his entrance to the 'hood and waking up people). I approached him and asked him to "coast-in" and keep the noise down a bit.

The following day, he coasted-in and the entire 'hood was at peace. He's been doing that since.

He's a hot-dog on that cycle and he crashed it two weeks ago. Totally wrecked. Cops came by the night before he wrecked and harrassed him a bit. Like a teenager, he shrugged it off, hopped on the bike, and took off.

Cops came, cops talked to him, and nothing stuck. At best, it just angered him more and made him more rebellious.

I asked him if he was religious and showed him the timeline of the 24 hours before his accident. I asked him if he even gave it a second thought if the cop was some divine intervention letting him know that an accident was waiting to happen if he didn't stop hot-dogging on his rocket.

His girlfriend freaked and understood what I was saying.

I wasn't there to be his parent. I was there to support him. I was there to be his friend.

People think that society will kick you even when you're down. And in some areas they do. But ya gotta prove them wrong and help people when they are down.

I'm not saying that one should be a parent. I'm say that one should learn to be a friend and be friendly. I'm not there 24/7 for these kids but I am there to say "Wassup, dog?" - and acknowledge their existence.

Respect happens when one realizes that there is another person besides themselves...

Any disagree ?

Yes ? - then c'mon over and I'll introduce you to "Mr Bad-A$$" teenager. He's so bad that he got kicked out of the football team for being rough. And for those that live in Texas, TX Football teams "rough" is a wanted trait but this kid took it waaaay beyond the definition.

But I'm his friend. I help him out when he needs help. I helped him clean his engine bay of his truck. He gave me this look like no one has ever helped him in the past.

I got a good 'hood. But it took some years to get it respectable.

Video cameras just invade peoples privacy. And they can become targets for BB-guns. Trust me, I know bad 'hoods. I lived in Chicago for 22-years. I had friends from Cabrini-Green, Humboldt Park, and the West-side. A "General" in the Latin-Kings was my Camp Counselor back in the late '70s (I kid you not).

JRS

[ 05-21-2004: Message edited by: JRS ]

JRS · Joined: 09 Jun 2002 Posts: 2386 Location: USA

quote:
Originally posted by Matt B:
if i told you i was a bad kid would you buy me ice cream?

What flavor ?

JRS

ExemptX2000 · Joined: 22 Sep 2002 Posts: 458 Location: Alexandria, LA

I have to say being around that age myself, or not too many years ago... (im 22 now) Even before I saw Alex O and JRS's posts I was going to say the exact same thing... Get in good with them, dont have to buy them things, but just acknoeledge that they are there... Most of these kids do this stuff just for attention... If u give them attention, some sort of attention and become the 'good guy' they'll leave u be, and it wont take much work at all, a simple 'hey guys hows it goin' will suffice... Like someone else said, if one of their bikes is broken a simple repair, fix it... Maybe round them all up one day, once u have a decent relationship with them, and ask if they wanna go fishing or something... Maybe even put together a kickball game, or something... Just to show them your a good guy... Dosnt take much to get in good with them...

panzerkeil302 · Joined: 10 Mar 2004 Posts: 2182

JRS wrote
"Any disagree ?"

How could we disagree with someone nice enough to buy the little kids in the hood dogs and ice cream?

JRS, you're a better man than me..I think I'd try the "could you nice boys please try and play away from my car approach" and then grab the camera.

board_nerd · Joined: 28 May 2002 Posts: 1015 Location: SE US

I personally prefer the 'scorched earth' approach to problem solving...